Re: any stories of lightening the load?
[Re: Delicieuxz]
Never happened to me, I just deal with it myself. The most anyone does is let me vent to them. The most help I've ever gotten from anyone was by a psycologist, but I had to fork over $200 for it! On the other hand, I try to help out people I know.
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On further thought, it seems that currently my life is basically perfect except for my non-existant time management, destractability, slight perfectionism and tendancy to boast/"talk the talk". I have a fairly good family, money, education, freedom, health, very high intelligence, physical robustness, great looks, strong faith, a huge breadth of powerful contacts at my disposal, absurdly good luck, etc... I suppose then, there isn't really any load to lighten.
Still, it irks me that if only I were more highly motivated and productive, I would be doing such great things already. Perfection is such a difficult thing, even if you think you have it, if you should have it, you don't. For example, at the company I'm starting, I should be making $2000 a week by now, but I'm stuck at $500 because of my lethargic actions. Of course, there is still time to change things, if only I can find the will and energy to take up the torch.
I guess that's the only area I need people emotionally, to constantly support and motivate me. Sadly though, most people don't know what does that for me. They talk of money, glamour and "success", but I don't care for those temporary things. I just want to inspire the masses, be it through art, emotional support or whatever they need. I want to be a catalyist of positive change. If I'm doing less then that, I just don't see the point, and I absolutly abhor wasting my time (ironically). I just need to be sure that the results are worth the effort, even if this is a bit of putting the cart before the horse.
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Delicieuxz said:At the company I'm setting up the server/network (Win2003 using roaming profiles). I created the logos (learned Photoshop CS2 inside out for that), some of the other marketing materials, business cards and catalogues. I've started tutoring, and I have 3 regulars and a few intermittent clients. I'm going to be trained and act as a consultant in an income tax seminar and workshop. I've set up the business accounts and invoices (QuickBooks). I've developed outlines for basic computer training and C++ programming courses.
What do you do at the company, and what personal skills do you put your spirit most into? For me it's music and philosophy. I eventually want to be putting my whole being into creating beautiful combinations of game music and story to inspire and teach people of their spiritual nature. I think some people, like Hironobu Sakaguchi, have already slightly attempted the same thing, but I don't think it's been a perfect focus.
My problem is that family and friends have always tried to talk me out of going after my music writing skills, which I firmly believe are among the best in the world. They aren't really people of confidence - unfortunately it has an effect on me, as much as I wish it didn't. But then again, who are they to be listened to? Their life goals are non-existent or ultimately worthless. They just want to secure things for themselves and go nowhere.
I still have to write a formal business plan and document the primary operating procedures. I also need to flesh out the courses with exercises, lessons and manuals. I need to prepare a series of cheat-sheats to be used for quick informal lessons, which will be one off as the client needs them. I've got to finish furnishing the office sometime. I need to get a proper lid for the fish tank. I've got to calibrate and install our vast library of computer based training software. I've got to figure out a way of selling almost 10,000 computer books, some of which are out of date (thinking about a book-burning, lol). I need to get in contact with government officals about grants and other funding/programs. I need to clean up the legal aspects of the business, and stop the rampant piracy, but my boss/funding won't until we have the money to buy the software after the fact, lol. I need to get a proper schedualing system to log and scheduale tutoring hours, then calculate wages other then using pen/paper, and then use it consistantly. I need to update my tutoring practices, and include some time for general study skills and critical thinking development. There's a website and e-learning system being developed by a 3rd party that I will need to make content for. There's a long list of people, whose numbers scattered all over the office that I should have called back, but never did. There's simply mountians of promises and opportunities that I don't think I can ever fufill or take advantage of.
Now, I could hire some people to spread the load, but I have no money to do so! Even then, this isn't my passion, like I said. Also, I'm too slow and detailed to handle this. I like to make sure one piece of the puzzle is just right, before moving on. That way I know it was crafted with the amount of attention it deserves, and thus will be able to be re-used time and time again. Of course, my employer, being one of those Hong Kong type businessmen, doesn't understand this since he's used to the fast paced informal half-baked type of business, where quality is a secondary concern. I could do this though, despite the diffculty, if I put enough energy into it. However, that would require me commiting my whole daily life to this cause, which is something I can't do. This is not who I am, and it will never be.
Thankfully though, I have a supportive family and my dad will become a millionaire soon enough. We already have significantly more then that in property anyways (2 houses, a condo, a cottage and 100 acres of land). I have nothing to complain about, and I'm not complaining (I hope), just stating the facts. It's just that the only result of this business I can see is me becoming finacially well-off, and I don't consider money to be of that kind of importance.
So I guess I must ask myself, what do I value, and what can I do to achieve that? Well, I value cultural/ethnic understanding, the sanctity of life and the human person, the betterment of the world, respect by merit without being self-rightous, elegent design and structure (beauty), sources of inspiration, thankfulness and the constant quest to become something greater then what one is now. How do I achieve this? By showing people new perspectives and ideas via gaming and art, and educating them in these concepts. Then by inspiring them to take up the torch and do the same for others. You know it's funny then, that this education/training centre could be the very cornerstone of such an ideal, both finacially and figuratively.
I guess, I just need to develop my own vision for this business and apply that, rather then pander to the will of another. I need to see the path for myself, so that I can travel it with verve and confidence.
